My Faith Was Tested

      Since I was 4 years old I went to Church every Sunday morning with my parents and brother. As I got older I only went during Easter, sometimes during Christmas and New Years. In 2005 I moved to Canada for 4 years and began to attend church where I met my hubby and His Grace Bishop Meghrig Parikian (May he Rest in Peace). I began to reconnect with God.  In 2009 I moved back home to California and did not go to church as often as I should have because of the driving distance – which is a lame excuse.

In 2011 I started to work at a job which really caused me to change my Christian path. As the years went by I began to dislike the place I worked at for various reasons. I would always complain to God to get me out of the job and move me to another.  I applied to 114 jobs in the company within 2 years of working there.  Every day was Hell for me, I wanted to quit, I was always crying, I was always angry, I would always drink to take away the problems. I worked from 4:30 am to 4:30 pm 10-12 hours a day.  I was on night shift twice from 2 pm to 2 am for 6 months at a time during my 6 years of employment.  I had two kids during that employment period aged 2 and 6 months old.  I was treated unfairly before my pregnancy, during my pregnancy and after my pregnancy.  Those hard times caused me to do things I am not proud of, but this blog isn’t about the drama and problems I faced, rather its about how I got closer to God.

      During my last year at that place I was in the worse shape for my life, everyday I was angry, upset, depressed, stressed…I was in a hole I couldn’t get out of.  This was the time I went on my knees and begged God for help.  I began listening to Immaculate Heart Radio every day.  I would sometimes go to the church close to home and I would feel His presence next to me.  I would cry and cry till I had no more tears left.  When I was forced to work another night shift that was it! I was angry with co-workers, I was angry at home, I was angry at God.  Why was this happening to me? Every time I begged my manager to bring me back to morning shift he would say no, stop asking me, you are the last thing on my mind, you’re staying on night shift till I decide when to end this, another time he lied saying the Engineers wanted me on night shift; when I would say I want to be home at night with my baby he would say you’re not the only mom working night shifts with a baby.  One night on my way home, I was so exhausted I fell asleep while driving.  I drove 20 minutes sleeping on and off, when I started going up the hill there was a curve and to the right was a cliff.  All I remember is seeing a statue of Mother Mary causing me to wake up and turn my car, then I would sleep again and another statue would show…this happened 3 times till I fully woke up and drove home safely – Thank you Mother Mary for looking out for me .  

      Everyday at that job people would come to me saying uplifting things to help me get through the day.  I remember someone telling me God leaves you in a situation and makes it happen over and over again till you learn to stop, once you’ve learned he will help you out.  Another person said evil does the same thing over and over again, he doesn’t change anything and eventually you will see the pattern.  Another co-worker would always recite Bible verses, we would talk about God and His plans.  My Mother-in-law told me to pray to St. Charbel for 9 days and whatever I asked for he will grant it.  I began to pray, on the 3rd day during my break as I was walking back to work a man called out my name.  I looked at him and did not know who he was, he introduced himself as an engineer for whom I was inspecting his products.  He thanked my for all my hard work and for some reason I had the courage to ask him if he and engineer co-workers had told my manager to place me on night shift…he said no we never did.  I said my manager lied to me, then I asked him to please bring me back to morning shift so I could be with my family at night.  By day 4 of the prayer my manager called me and told me I was going back to morning shift.  I began to cry and cry, I thanked St. Charbel and continued my 9 day prayer  .  

In 2018, 6 months after my second baby was born I was fired from that place! I was freed from what I called HELL!! One of the happiest days of my life!

      I felt like God let me go through all this for a reason…for me to wake up and rely only on Him, for me to know He will take care of me as long a I talk to Him everyday.  Even though I made wrong choices, God was still by me carrying me and lifting me from that hole I placed myself in.  God allowed evil to be around me so I could see them, so I could recognize their steps, and perhaps one day help others in my shoes.  

      When we pray from the heart, God always answers at the right time.  When we pray to Saint to intercede for us they too answer us.  God is always there waiting and listening, He just wants our love, faith and trust.  Always keep your eyes and ears open for His signs, even if you miss it the first time He will always show you again ♰.